She said her name was "party"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
