They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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