you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
