I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
