I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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