Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Every concussion has its silver lining
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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