He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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