@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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