I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
