hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
