My nipple is on Facebook.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
