I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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