Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
