end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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