i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't deserve a penis
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
