where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize