so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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