I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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