I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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