WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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