i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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