got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
