We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
