Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
