whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
