If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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