So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
