I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize