Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
