so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
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You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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