I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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