My nipple is on Facebook.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
