i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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