He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
