i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
