So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
