..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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