You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
