sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Come share oat with me in your robe
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
