Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
