at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Someone came in the potted fern
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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