Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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