Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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