Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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