Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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