I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
