butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Terrible idea I love it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
