I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am one with the molecules
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
