That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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