i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
