I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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