I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
