Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
