i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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