People in love make me want to vomit
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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