last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Boobs speak an international language.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
