wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
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the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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