wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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