just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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